No, this is something else. I've somewhat explained it to others. Something is missing. As of yet I do not know what it is. I have fun, I'm employed. i treat myself to things. I have close friends. I have family, both close and far.
So what is it that's missing? I've looked at my life and I can only come up with a few.
- Job satisfaction
- life experiences
I'm not unsatisfied with my job. it keeps me entertained and i'd like to think that i'm exceedingly good at it. The pay is good too. I'm loose with my money so maybe i should tighten up a bit.
I shouldn't be concerned about a relationship. I'm a patient person. I'm not hooking up with random floozies. I don't mind waiting for the right one. There's a lot here that remains unsaid that i won't get into in an impersonal voice. I have noticed tho that when in a relationship with someone, I don't need to spend as much time isolated from everyone to return to reality. Some would call that meditation I suppose.
Life Experiences. Well, I've had some, but then again, who can say they've had enough? Maybe I do need to try living a little more. There are places I'd like to go but don't feel I can afford it.
So maybe i need to take a little bit of a larger isolation session. maybe i need find myself a girl. maybe I need to find a new career. I don't think any of these are what I'm really looking for, but they are on the edge of my mind right now, regardless.